7 Ways to Spring Clean your Life

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 15 May 2013 11:30:35 +0000

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. —Phyllis Diller

Actually, physically clean and organize your home. It seems easy – so why don’t you do it? The first way to change your mental attitude or have a fresh perspective on life is to have a clean and organized space you call home.
De-clutter your mind. Take stock of all the things you’ve been worrying about and all the things that you need to get done and write them down. Then flush them out of your mind – go for a walk or a trip and get a fresh slate to begin re-writing your priorities. Start with the things that you love and want to spend more time doing, finish with the things you worry about. Re-organizing things mentally will ensure you have time for the things you enjoy doing before the things you dread.
Organize your relationships. Just like cleaning out your closet – there is no reason for holding on to something you never use or wear – the same goes for people in your life. If you have friends or family members that you wish you had more time to talk to – make the time. Otherwise sever ties with those people who are anchors to your life and tie yourself to those who are balloons.
Change up your routine. Add something new to the mix or clear the board and start fresh. Nothing says spring cleaning with throwing out all the junk and garbage that is cluttering up your life – start a new hobby or take up jogging, the possibilities are endless so don’t be afraid to take a shot.
Learn to stop saying yes. The irony of this is that in order to take the advice we offer you’ll need to say yes – but after that; NO MORE SAYING YES. That is to things you truly don’t want to do – there is a difference between being reliable and being a doormat. People will take advantage of those who are always going to say yes.
Give your body a tune-up. Every spring you clean the car and get out on the road with a fresh clean running engine – apply that same principal to your body. After all – as far as this life is concerned – it’s the only one you’re going to get. Go for a run or do a detox – bathing suit season is upon us!
Try a new look or shake up your normal grooming routine. Nothing says spring like fresh starts and this is the perfect time to try that bold new haircut or trendy outfit you’ve been eyeing all winter. A fresh new look helps to revitalize not only your appearance, but it puts a little pep in your step and boosts confidence as well.

Filed under: Comedy, Entertainment, Family, Health & Science, Life

5 Ways to Deal with Negative People

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 08 May 2013 11:00:12 +0000

“The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.” – Ellen DeGeneres

Avoid them, when in doubt don’t associate with negative people
Just walk away, there is nothing easier or simpler to do then to just avoid the person who is a black hole of negativity – unfortunately it isn’t always as easy.
Try to switch to a more positive conversation topic
Sometimes the most obvious solution is the correct one. If your friend insists on discussing topics that will drain all happiness from them – talk about something that makes them happy. Everyone could use a change of scenery every once in awhile – our psyche’s are the same.
Don’t join in – Misery loves company
It’s easy to join in on the self loathing of others especially because all of us at one point or another have been negative. But stay above it – they will only drag you further down and you can hopefully help them up to being positive.
Lend an Ear
Sometimes negative people need to purge the negativity spending a short while listening to their issues may empty their pit of sorrows and leave nothing but positivity.
Call them out
When all else fails just tell them to stop. Sometimes people don’t even realize how negative they are being until you smack them in the face with it (not literally). It’s always better to show tact when dealing with it but sometimes they need to be snapped out of it.

Filed under: Comedy, Entertainment, Family, Health & Science, Life

20 Things to Do Before You Die

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 01 May 2013 11:00:28 +0000

“The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win – you’re still a rat.”

While a funny observation on life, comedian Lily Tomlin’s words are also a sobering reminder that life is not always about getting ahead of the game and that success in life can be measured in very different ways. But how easy is it to break from the rat race and be the cat that gets the cream instead?

Life is one of the most beautiful gifts we have, but unfortunately we never know how long we have it for. In order to enjoy life to the fullest we must take a moment to plan out a list of the things we would most like to accomplish in life and set out to accomplish them. Undoubtedly you already have a few goals for your own bucket list, but if you need a little inspiration to get you going, try out one of our top 20 things to do before you die.

Learn to play an instrument
Set foot on all seven continents
Have a professional massage
Sleep outside
Be a part of a flash mob
Be a part of a police lineup (as a volunteer!)
Attempt a Man vs. Food challenge
Fire a gun
Get your heart broken
Experience failure and learn from it
Catch, clean and prepare a fish
Have at least one real conversation with a child
Build something from scratch
Bake something from scratch or learn to cook one full meal
Go on a road trip
Have a pen pal / make a friend from another country
Partake in a random act of kindness
Spend some time completely off the grid
Attend a murder mystery dinner
Make your own bucket list of things you want to do before you die

Share with us! What goals are on your own bucket list?

Filed under: Health & Science, Life

Drive Recklessly

Aquarian Pure Water — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:45:48 +0000

Filed under: Comedy

15 Ways to Relax

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 12:00:16 +0000

“Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort.”― Jane Austen

1) Enjoy a few moments of deep breathing in silence

2) Listen to your favourite music or some soothing nature sounds (we suggest the Rainy Mood website)

3) Take a dip in a cool body of water and let the ripples wash your cares away

4) Enjoy a nice soak in a hot bath

5) Whether it’s a calming facial or an at home mani/pedi, set aside some time to pamper yourself

6) Have a smoke

7) Relax by the soothing crackle and warmth of a fire

8) Enjoy a nice glass of wine

9) Have sex

10) Clear your mind with some meditation or yoga

11) Attend a religious service

12) Whether you’re musically inclined or have more of a flair for visual art, engaging in a bit of artistic release will help keep stress levels down

13) Pop in your favourite movie or video game

14) Spend some time on a hobby you enjoy

15) Go for a run or walk to clear your mind and release mood-boosting endorphin’s

Share with us! What are some of your favourite ways to relax?

Filed under: GTA

8 Ways to Get Motivated

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:30:03 +0000

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential… these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.” – Confucius

Hit Rock Bottom
You’re not going to change anything unless you have a reason and hitting rock bottom is the clearest sign to make a change you can ever get. As JK Rowling wrote, “Rock Bottom is the solid foundation on which I built my life upon.” Let it be your starting position on the road to change and use it to push yourself up.
Adapt a Mantra
Get something that stands out to you – or rings true to you personally and live the words. Make it the driving force behind everything you do and every second you waste doing something you’ll later regret. Having a mantra as a chant allows you to meditate on your thoughts and forget the physical pain and strain you may be going through.
Set Achievable Goals
Write down goals that you know you can achieve and begin the process of completing them. Whether it be cleaning your house or car; you don’t have to start with conquering the world – starting small allows you to grow with the little victories.
Surround yourself with like minded people
Having people around you that have either already accomplished their goals or are on there way as you are will create the environment for success. A driving force is only stronger in numbers and if your mind should ever waver, someone will be there to pick you back up again.
Don’t be afraid to go it alone
While it may be helpful to have other like minded people around you helping you when you’re struggling with change – they can sometimes be vexatious to the spirit and stand in the way of your goals. Be weary of those willing to help – and those unknowingly hindering.

Stop comparing yourself you others
As Steve Furtick said, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Everyone is different and have different levels of success, stop caring about others achievements and begin thinking of your own.
Implement a reward system
Having a reward system behind your goals allows you to strive for something that you may feel is a little more attainable as opposed to an unknown finish line. Eventually you will get to a point that you no longer need the reward.
Pick yourself back up
There will be a time that you fail and decide that this is not the change you truly want – ignore that thought. No one ever said that change was easy – but it is worth it and nothing worth having will ever come on a silver platter.

What are some ways you get motivated? Do you ever find yourself in a slump and need something to jolt you out of it? What works for you? Leave us a comment below so we can share it in a future thought!

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Filed under: Entertainment, Health & Science, Life

Patton Oswalt’s Thoughts on the Boston Marathon Bombing

Aquarian Pure Water — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 13:09:52 +0000

Boston. F*****g horrible.

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, “Well, I’ve had it with humanity.”

But I was wrong. I don’t know what’s going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

But here’s what I DO know. If it’s one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. This is a giant planet and we’re lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they’re pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, “The good outnumber you, and we always will.”

Filed under: GTA

The Top 100 Things I’d Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Aquarian Pure Water — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 13:11:51 +0000

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing them.
When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say, “No.” and shoot him. No, on second thought I’ll shoot him then say “No.”
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled “Danger: Do Not Push”. The big red button marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will never utter the sentence “But before I kill you, there’s just one thing I want to know.”
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero’s rugged countenance and she’d betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it’s too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way — even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless — my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line “No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!” (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won’t require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he’s my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say “And here is the price for failure,” then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
If an advisor says to me “My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?”, I will reply “This.” and kill the advisor.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess’ cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
If the beautiful princess that I capture says “I’ll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!”, I will say “Oh well” and kill her.
I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner’s manual.
If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
If my advisors ask “Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?”, I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they’d better save my life again.
All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
If I decide to test a lieutenant’s loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk “Project Overlord” and leave it lying on top of my desk.
I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror “And he must be taken alive!” The command will be “And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical.”
If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
If I’m eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. “Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse.” Instead it will be more along the lines of “Push the button.”
I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
After I captures the hero’s superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it’s an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others’ lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

Of course, these are merely the Top 100 Things I’d do. Other suggestions have been sent to me which didn’t quite make the Top 100 List. But they are still so good that I couldn’t bear to throw them out. Therefore, as an expression of gratitude, I have tossed them into…

Filed under: GTA

15 Nice Things that we Take for Granted

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:30:33 +0000

“I have a natural swagger.” – Kevin Bacon

The smell and feel of hopping into a bed made with freshly cleaned sheets
Finding a parking spot close to the door
Remembering to bring an umbrella with you on a rainy day
Catching a bus or train at the very last second
Finally getting to pee when you really have to go
Pay day
Drinking a big glass of cold water when you’re thirsty
Peeling off your socks after a long day
The smell and taste of freshly baked bread
Bacon – the smell of it, the taste of it, and Kevin
The first chord of The Beatle’s “A Hard Day’s Night”
The first cut into a sheet of construction paper
Ripping open packages and presents
Bubbles in any form – bubble baths, blowing bubbles, bubbles in your milk,
and popping bubble wrap are some favourites
Jumping into a pool or lake on a hot and sunny day

Share with us! What are some little things that bring happiness to your daily life?

Filed under: Comedy, Health & Science, Life

The Pros and Cons of having Superpowers

Aquarian Pure Water — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:45:58 +0000

”With great power, comes great responsibility.” – Ben Parker

Flying

Being able to fly without the aid of an airplane or glider does sound pretty fantastic. With the power of flight comes a great amount of freedom. No more hassles at the airport or being stuck in gridlock for you. With just one leap into the sky you could travel the world to see the sights – or even save people’s lives just like a superhero would. The only downside – think of the money you’ll spend in dental floss picking out all those bugs that hit your teeth at high speeds.

Invisibility

Sometimes we all have those days where we’d just like to become invisible and disappear for some much needed peace and quiet. While being invisible might have a perk or two, you’ll need to have a pretty thick skin for all those dark secrets you’ll end up stumbling upon. You’d have to be a comfortable nudist for this one because unfortunately for you, clothing isn’t invisible. But hey – at least you’ll never pay for another movie ticket again.

Telepathy
Mind reading is definitely one superpower that’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure you’d have all the knowledge in the world at your disposal, but you’d be stuck knowing exactly what everyone was thinking at all times. Eventually, you’d be left without friends because no one would want to risk you dipping into their thoughts and learning secrets about them. Talk about hearing voices.

Teleportation
In just a matter of a few seconds, you could pop your way from one end of the country to the other with teleportation. In fact – you could go anywhere in the world and never have to worry about gas or travel costs again. However, if you’re not careful about planning your destination, you could have the unfortunate luck to end up in the middle of an ocean or inside a nuclear reactor.

Shapeshifting
This particular ability would be more for amusement than its practical nature. You’d be able to change your appearance on a whim – everything from your hair colour to living the life of a celebrity for a day. Just be careful not to overuse those superpowers and get stuck in a not so fun form – spending a week or two living the relaxed life of a house cat might be a nice break from work, but you wouldn’t want to be a feline forever.

Animalistic Mutations
Imagine the fun you’d have being able to twist and leap through the air with the grace of cat or climb walls and sling from buildings like a spider. Having animal-like abilities would certainly come in handy at times, just be ready for the hairballs that come along with it.

Lab Accident
For those of us that aren’t born with the superpower gene; these superhuman abilities are usually the result of an unfortunate lab accident. Sometimes you luck out and become a web-slinging superhero, but more often than not count on just getting really sick.

Gods
Having the strength and fury of Thor might be fun for a while – and being a god on earth would certainly have its advantages when it comes to fame – but being a god is no easy task. No matter how many times you save the world, those angry peasants will still ask for more. And you thought your job was demanding

Money
Money may not buy love or happiness, but it does rule out the need for superhuman ability. No super strength is needed here to save the world when you’ve the funds to build your own Batmobile or combat suit like Ironman. It’s great being rich – but guess who’s picking up the tab when the super friends go out to lunch.

Filed under: Comedy, Entertainment, Health & Science, Life